The Problem With Authenticity

"Just be yourself" is an ever popular anecdote on business networking sites. It is often accompanied by a selfie of a good-looking individual being authentic. However, and while not wanting to assume malice; I do not believe that most of the people who give this advice realise that it comes from a place of significant privilege. 

Why ‘Just Be Yourself’ Falls Short

Over my career in tech, I have met many people who, I am quite sure, would love nothing more than to simply “be themselves”. However, hard-earned experience has taught them that doing so can have tangible, negative consequences for their careers, and affect their ability to provide for themselves and their loved ones.

Many women must downplay their personality and interests to navigate male dominated environments; particularly in engineering teams.

As a programmer, I have only once had a black colleague. They were, of course, in a support role, despite having an appetite for coding. I remember them sharing how they toned down their behaviour so they do not 'come off too black'; turns out up to 98% of black people in the UK also feel similar.

Neurodivergent and the autistic must often wear a carefully crafted mask in an attempt to avoid outing their differences. I know first hand how we persistently struggle to fit in, often falling prey to people who take advantage of our nature.

The Cost of authenticity 

For people like this, and many other underrepresented groups in tech, the advice to ‘just be yourself’, can feel hollow or even harmful. It disregards the systematic barriers that force people to perform in ways that are not natural to them. Forcing them to sacrifice their authenticity to maintain career trajectory. The choice is not about authenticity, it’s about survival. 

For those who have never had to alter who they are to simply exist in a space, it can be difficult to grasp just how exhausting this is for others.

Therefore, hearing someone advise 'just be yourself', even with the best intentions, can feel particularly disheartening, as the lived experiences of many reveal how challenging this can truly be.

Such frustrations are only amplified in workplaces that claim to embrace diversity but fail to support it genuinely.

Turn Empty Advice into real action

Rather than offering the well-meaning but misguided advice to ‘just be yourself’, instead focus on creating environments where people feel safe enough to be more authentic. Allow people to drop their mask on their terms, if and when they feel safe to do so.

True inclusivity demands workplaces and leaders willing to commit to the systemic change that is necessary. Actively dismantling biases, fostering safety, and creating policies that protect and celebrate; not merely tolerate, diverse experiences and identities. 

True inclusivity requires moving beyond performative allyship, and rethinking the norms that pressure people to conform in the first place. 

This is within reach

With real action, environments in which people can be a bit more authentic are achievable.

One company leading the way is Bumble. Their tech stack is a thing of wonder. Their careers information page shows how they put diversity front and centre. Aside from showcasing diversity, they prioritise it in hiring and workplace culture, with 80% of their leadership team composed of women. Furthermore, feedback from their staff suggests they practice what they preach.

Cisco is another company who seem to be heading in the right direction. Having won accolades for their work on LGBTQ+ inclusion, and having internal training to help women in mid-level roles jump to leadership.

However, work environments like this are not common, and do not happen accidentally. While many say they want equality, time and again, we see that only a few are willing to take the difficult steps to actually achieve it.

Key Takeaways

If you are considering advising somebody to ‘Just be themselves’. Pause and reflect;

• Are you aware of the privileges baked into the statement.
• Does the organisation you represent actually provide an environment in which people can truly be themselves, without consequence for their career & well-being?

Instead of giving this advice, think about how you can contribute to a workplace culture where authenticity is not a luxury, but a default.

While the intention behind the advice to be yourself may be positive, it’s essential to understand how those with different lived experiences may perceive it. Only if we can create environments where underrepresented groups can be themselves without fear of consequence, can we make tech more equitable.